Mid-Joy-Mongering Meltdown

Today, I’m not okay. I debated whether or not to admit this “out loud”, because I’m working very hard to channel Joy into everything right now. But then I remembered why I started this 21 Days of Joy project - to balance out the anxiety, rage, fear, etc. that I’ve been feeling, and that I think a lot of people are feeling in the midst of a lot of big scary things that we can’t control.

Today I spent less than an hour checking in with “the world” (ie. the situation in the States) and getting somewhat informed about what’s happening now. After that, I had to go do guided meditations for an hour just to give my mind back to myself. I feel like there’s a huge weight crushing down on my chest. It feels hard to breathe. It feels hard to hold onto hope. And to be honest, that feels like a pretty legitimate reaction to what’s happening. And what’s not happening.

So what did I do? This time, I cried. Other days, I’ve gone for a drive by myself with angry music blaring and I’ve screamed into the empty car. And I think these are healthy ways of exorcising a bit of the thick black cloud that keeps building up inside me.

If you feel the same, know that you aren’t alone. If you need permission to have a meltdown today (or any day) so that you can get some of that horror out of you and make room for a bit of Joy to move back in: here it is.

Have your meltdown. Then do something Joyful to fill that space inside of you with rainbows instead of black clouds. Be kind to each other. Spread rainbows, and strengthen your Joy armour.