Don’t get me wrong - I’m not saying a global pandemic is a good thing, but I’m sure by now you’ve noticed some unexpected silver lining in this current situation. Neighbours helping each other out, people making a point of supporting small businesses, and artists going out of their way to brighten your otherwise grim newsfeed. But the one you may not have noticed yet, or maybe just haven’t seen as a positive thing, is the Gift of Time.

Being likely far too honest, last year was a pretty bad year for me financially as a self-employed artist. Work just wasn’t selling as well as previous years. I heard it from many other artists and small businesses too: 2019 was tough. I can’t speak to all those other businesses, but my own up-front costs are quite high - fees to participate in shows, Toronto studio rent costs, and actual production costs for making my pieces - it all adds up. So when I wasn’t selling, I also couldn’t afford to be making new work. Which was really hard. I spent the first few months feeling really restless and anxious. By early May I’d come to terms with the fact that this was what the year was going to be like, and I’d better find a way to be okay with it. And then I had a really important realization: although I was not rich in any kind of financial way, I was incredibly rich in Time. The more I thought about it, the more valuable that became. After all, money comes and goes. Time is a one-way street.

I went for walks in parks, listening to podcasts. I planned dates with my husband, exploring different neighbourhoods in our city. I spent time with my hilarious and inspiring niece and nephew, who live 5 hours away. I read everything that interested me. I journaled. I sketched for the first time in years. I called my mom more often. Every time my cat wanted to sit on my lap, the answer was “yes”. I got around to doing the household projects that had been on a shelf for years. I was able to accept invitations from friends to go visit them out of the city for a few days. For the first time since becoming full-time self-employed, I didn’t feel rushed. I didn’t have a to-do list that was impossibly long. I didn’t feel guilty for all the things I didn’t have time for, the ones that I knew were really more important than “work”, but always seemed to get put lower down the list. And I spent a lot of time thinking of what I wanted my life to look like moving forward. Having faith that things would improve financially, I continued to apply for new opportunities. I got accepted to an arts research residency in Paris, where I spent two weeks with an amazing group of artists from all over the world. I felt so fortunate to have supporters who purchased the work that resulted from this adventure. In the end, 2019 ended up being the best year of my life.

So here we all are, with the whole world having a gigantic “pause” button pushed. Everything that was on our calendars for March and April has now been cancelled or postponed. While this might feel scary and uncomfortable, I would also like to suggest that it can feel like freedom. Like the chance to come up for air that we’ve all desperately been needing for years now. And even in isolation, to reconnect with the important people in our lives. To reconnect with the natural world outside our screens and devices. And hopefully to reassess what really matters in life, and take that with us into our post-pandemic future together.

If you’re feeling stressed and want something simple to help you feel grounded right now, check out the online version of my Serenity Experience installation here :)

Be safe. Be kind. And wash your hands.

xo
Jessica